"Robert Rankin - Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls" - читать интересную книгу автора (Rankin Robert)

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тАШShe does what?тАЩ John Omally looked up from his pint and down at Small Dave.

тАШReads your knob,тАЩ said the wee man. тАШItтАЩs a bit like Palmistry, where they read the lines on your hand.
Except this is called Penistry and they can tell your fortune by looking at your knob.тАЩ

It was spring and it was Tuesday. It was lunchtime. They were in the Flying Swan.

тАШI donтАЩt believe it,тАЩ said John. тАШSomeoneтАЩs been winding you up, Dave.тАЩ

тАШThey have not. I overheard two policemen talking about it while I was locked in the suitcase.тАЩ

тАШExcuse me, Dave,тАЩ said Soap Distant, newly returned from a journey to the centre of the Earth. тАШBut
why were you locked in a suitcase?тАЩ

тАШThere was some unpleasantness. I donтАЩt wish to discuss it.тАЩ

тАШSmall Dave was sacked from his job as chef at the Arts Centre,тАЩ said Omally.

тАШWhat Arts Centre?тАЩ

тАШThe one they built on the site of the old gasworks.тАЩ

тАШOh,тАЩ said Soap. тАШSo why did they sack you, Dave?тАЩ

тАШI was unfairly dismissed.тАЩ

тАШThe manager gave Dave his cards and Dave bit the end off the managerтАЩs knob.тАЩ

тАШIt was an accident. I slipped on some mouse poo, and anyway he hit me with a frying pan.тАЩ

тАШI thought that was in self-defence, because you came at him with the meat cleaver.тАЩ

тАШI just happened to be holding the cleaver at the time.тАЩ

тАШYou bit off the end of his knob,тАЩ said Soap. тАШThat is disgusting.тАЩ

тАШIt was an accident. I slipped, he hit me on the back of the head, I fell forward and my teeth kind of
clenched.тАЩ
SoapтАЩs teeth kind of clenched and so did OmallyтАЩs.

тАШSo what happened to the manager?тАЩ Soap asked.

тАШHeтАЩs recovering in Brentford Cottage Hospital. The surgeon sewed the end back on. ItтАЩs no big deal.
Mind youтАЩ тАФ Small Dave smirked wickedly тАФ тАШfrom what I heard heтАЩs going to sue the surgeon.тАЩ