"Robert Rankin - The Greatest Show Off Earth" - читать интересную книгу автора (Rankin Robert)

Raymond sniffed. But for the bubbles, the plaza was otherwise deserted. Where were
all the bidders? And what might the bidders look like? He perused once more the tag that
hung from the cord round his neck. It was printed in English. So Venusians surely spoke the
English tongue. And he was breathing. So they seemed to breath air also. But what were
they? Some superior race, no doubt. He was probably going to be sold as a pet. There were
possibilities there. Especially if they wanted him for breeding purposes.
Raymond's stomach made grumbling noises. The lad shivered, he was very cold
indeed. They might have left him his underwear. To be put on public display in your birthday
suit. The shame. The terrible shame. Must be for 'stud' purposes, Raymond told himself.
Hence the no knickers. Mind you, what with it being so cold and everything. And.
And ...
Oh dear.
Raymond suddenly clutched at himself in a shameless manner and rammed his spare
fist into his face. He needed the toilet. It had been creeping up on him. And now it was here.
Oh calamity.
Perhaps the little seat concealed a commode. Raymond tore at it with his non-groin-
holding hand. It didn't budge.
What to do? What to do?
Find a hole. Yes, that seemed a reasonable idea. After all, the air had to be getting in
somewhere. Raymond's hands floundered about inside the bubble.
'Hold on. Hold on,' he wailed at himself. 'Just a second or two longer. Oh dear Lord.
Oh dear. Oh Lord.'
 A probing finger found itself in the outside world.
There was a small round hole just beneath the seat. Raymond took a careful aim.
'Oh Lord. Oh yes. Glory be.'
He slumped down onto the seat. A poor naked schmuck with a warm wet foot and a
really stupid grin on his face.
'And that's enough of that, lot twenty-three,' It was the voice of a terrible suddenness.
'Aaaagh!' went Raymond. 'Toilet paper please.'
'Now just you calm yourself.'
Raymond cowered and peered and then found himself very much impressed. Smiling
down at him was a beautiful being. It was a man, but it wasn't. It was better than a man. A sort
of idealized version of what a man should be. It was well over six feet in height, dressed in a
floor-length toga. It raised a calming hand.
It was completely silver.
But for the eyes. Golden eyes. Staring from a face which expressed wisdom,
calmness and compassion.
An angel? An angel with a clipboard?
'How are you feeling now?' asked this vision.
Raymond tried to get his mouth into gear, but the words just wouldn't come.
'Would you mind if I just asked you a few questions?'
Raymond shook his head.
'Just nod or shake your head. Oh you did, didn't you? Splendid. Specimen of Earth
life. Male. Is that correct?'
Raymond managed a mumbly, 'Yes.'
'Splendid. And a very fine specimen too, if I might say so.'
'Oh,' said Raymond.
'Name?' asked the being.
'Raymond,' said Raymond.
'George,' said the being.