"Jack Vance - Meet Miss Universe" - читать интересную книгу автора (Vance Jack)

contest had been liquidated; it was pure gravy-until February 28.
The public as a whole saw no reason to delay the final decision. The
consensus made Sancha Garay winner, Lorraine Jorgensen of Mars runner-up,
followed closely by Miss Zzpii Koyae of Alschain, Miss Fradesut Consici of
Veidranu and Miss Arednillia of Beta Trianguli, the Type A humanoid with the
spiky red hair and the black fur on her legs.
One of the more sensational news organs pulled a switch and conducted an
Ugliness Contest, an-nouncing its results February 15.
"We have conducted this Ugli-ness Contest on a basis as fair as the five
judges are conducting their Beauty Contest.
"Our standards are those of physical reaction. We have asked ourselves,
which of these twenty-three lovelies nauseate us most completely?
"On these bases, Miss Earth, Miss Mars, Miss Veidranu, Miss Beta Trianguli
and Miss Alschain fail miserably. None of them nau-seate us. Otherwise it's a
close race.
"We make the following judg-ments:
Most frightening and hideous face. #17, #8.
Most disgusting color. #17, #5.
Most violent odor. #17.
Most unbelievable. #21, #23, #5.
Least desired opponent in catch-as-catch-can match. #17.
Least dainty. #17.
Consensus, and winner. Miss Magdalipe of Mel."
The public agreed. It was the conclusion to which roughly twenty million of
them had already ar-rived.
So, on February 28, it came as a tremendous surprise when the judges
unanimously named Con-testant #17,' Miss Magdalipe of Mel, winner of the
contest, and crowned her Miss Universe, Queen of Interstellar Beauty.
The joint statement, subsequent-ly published in the press, sounded a
defensive note.
"There is no possibility of doubt or question. The decision of the judges
has been based on most careful measurements and is final. By the rules of the
contest and by unanimous agreement of the judges, Miss Magdalipe of Mel,
having most closely approximated the ideal standards of her world, is hereby
declared Miss Universe, Queen of Interstellar Beauty.
"Tomorrow, March 1, at four o'clock, Miss Universe will name her Heart's
Desire, and if it lies within the power of the officials of the California
Tri-Centennial Ex-position, her desire will be satis-fied."
VI

Tony LeGrand called on Miss Sancha Garay. "Look, kid," he said, "you don't
know how I worked for you. Gave you every possible break . . ."
She sidled up to him with the prancing gait of a colt. "You filthy name of
a blue dog!" She hissed, "Go and never return! I spit at you!"
Miss Zzpii Koyae of Alschain was less vehement. "In my country there is no
fighting, no enemies. Everyone is friendly . . . And why? Because when we have
enemies we doтАФ this !" And she slapped a ribbon across his cheek. It vibrated
with, small black dots, which jump-ed to Tony's skin and scurried down inside
his clothes. Presently they began to bite.
A doctor managed to remove most of the virulent creatures from Tony's