"Jack Vance - Meet Miss Universe" - читать интересную книгу автора (Vance Jack)

flesh, and prescribed a soothing ointment. Tony made no attempt to contact
either Miss Veidranu or Miss Beta Trianguli, both of whose races on occasion
practiced human sacrifice.
It was nearly time for the Grand Award, the presenting of Heart's Desire.
Tony returned to the Ex-position, rode the elevator up to the administration
office.
Clydell greeted him cordially. "Well Tony, everything went off beautifully.
Good work all around . . . Better arrange to have those vivaria freighted out
of here tonight. All except Miss Universe, I suppose . . . Miss Universe."
Clydell wrinkled up his pink face. 'There couldn't possibly have been a
slip-up?тАЭ
"No . . . She just melted into those specifications."
"All I can say is the men on her planet don't show any kind of taste . . .
Well, it's quarter to four. Let's go down, find what she wants. We'll get it
for her, ship her home."
Descending to the Conclave of the Universe, they mounted the presentation
platform which had been erected in front of Case #17.
It was festooned with flowers, metal ribbons, and gala insignia.' Places
were ready for each of the five judges, none of whom were yet on the scene.
Reporters and TV photographers were busy with Miss Universe. They were
inclined to be facetious, joking and laughing among them-selves, hinting of
improper relations between Miss Magdalipe and her pipe-stem interpreter.
"Tell us, Miss Universe, how does it feel to be the most beauti-ful female
in the universe?"
"Just like always," she bellowed. "No different."
"You get lots of attention on Mel? Lots of boy friends?"
"Oh, yes. Very many."
"The men must be pretty rugged, eh?"
"No. Weaklings, pipsqueaks. They do the work."
"Were you surprised when you won?"
"No surprise." "You expected to win?"
"Of course. There is no way I could lose."
"Exactly why is that?" he asked.
Both Miss Universe and the in-terpreter seemed surprised by the question;
they conversed back and forthтАФcontrabass and piccolo. Fi-nally Miss Magdalipe
made a state-ment and the pipe-stem Breiduscan translated.
"The letter comes in from Earth asking measurements of most beau-tiful
woman. They measure me. I permit nothing else. I am most beautiful woman. In
fact I am only woman. I lay eggs for whole plan-et."
There was great excitement, amusement. The reporters spotted Clydell and
Tony, and demanded a statement. "Has Miss Mel won the contest fairly? Any
chance of disqualification?"
Hardeman Clydell flushed angri-ly, looked at Tony. "What's the truth of all
this, Tony?"
"To the best of my knowledge and belief," said Tony, "Miss Uni-verse has
fulfilled all the condi-tions of winning the contest. The fact that she is the
only woman on the planet constitutes a mere tech-nicality."

Clydell recovered his poise. "That is my position exactly. Now, if you
gentlemen will be so good, we are about to find out what that lady wants for