"Ray Vukcevich - Cold Comfort" - читать интересную книгу автора (Vukcevich Ray)

тАЬThe man who owns the house where I, his freezer, live and keep things cool
even in the hottest weather.тАЭ
тАЬYou canтАЩt fool me,тАЭ I said. тАЬWere you in love with Ralph?тАЭ
тАЬWhat!тАЭ she sounded genuinely shocked. I was convinced she was a real
woman pretending to be a freezer. But why would she do that? If she killed Ralph
and cut him up and put his packages into the freezer, why did she call the Company
to report it? The CompanyтАЩs AI was supposed to pass things like this on to the
emergency program at the police department. Why would she want that?
тАЬTell me what youтАЩre wearing.тАЭ I said.
тАЬThat does not compute,тАЭ she said.
тАЬAh ha!тАЭ I said. тАЬI knew it. No program would say something as dumb as
тАШthat does not compute.тАЩтАЭ
тАЬMaybe,тАЭ she said, тАЬbut how would you know that if you were not a program
yourself?тАЭ
Well, she had me there.
тАЬIтАЩm not wearing anything at all,тАЭ she said softly.
тАЬDescribe yourself.тАЭ
тАЬWell, IтАЩm totally white, and square, and so very, very cold tonight. Will you
talk to me? What would you be wearing yourself if you could wear anything?тАЭ
тАЬI can too wear things,тАЭ I said. тАЬIтАЩm wearing jeans and a T-shirt with some
kind of advertising slogan on the front.тАЭ
тАЬWhat does the slogan say?тАЭ
тАЬI canтАЩt tell,тАЭ I said. тАЬItтАЩs upside down.тАЭ
She had a nice laugh.
тАЬTell me whatтАЩs going on,тАЭ I said.
тАЬI am,тАЭ she said, тАЬlike a radio that wonтАЩt let you pull it into the bathtub and
electrocute yourself and then reports you anyway, even though youтАЩve said youтАЩre
sorry and that youтАЩre totally okay now. No, I mean youтАЩre like the radio. IтАЩm like
totally okay now.тАЭ
тАЬOkay,тАЭ I said. тАЬMe, too. WeтАЩre a couple of okays, you and me.тАЭ
тАЬThatтАЩs right,тАЭ she said. тАЬNever mind about the radio and Ralph, who
wouldnтАЩt have cared anyway. I never mentioned them. This call isnтАЩt being
monitored for my safety, is it? You would have to tell me, wouldnтАЩt you? Of course
you wouldnтАЩt. Of course itтАЩs all being recorded. Is Homeland Security on the way
yet? I know youтАЩve reported me about Ralph.тАЭ
тАЬThe program would have done that,тАЭ I said. тАЬBut I told you. IтАЩm not the
program.тАЭ
тАЬYou do have a nice voice,тАЭ she said. тАЬWhatтАЩs your name?тАЭ
Boy, was that ever a trick question. My first inclination was to get cute and
say тАЬRalphтАЭ just to hear her gasp. Another possible answer was a model number,
something flashy and historical, X15, maybe. And an evil laugh.
But what I said was this. тАЬIтАЩm afraid to tell you my name.тАЭ
There was a long silence, and then she said, тАЬNo, youтАЩre right. YouтАЩre right. I
wonтАЩt tell you my name either.тАЭ
тАЬChances are small that someone is listening at this very moment,тАЭ I said.
She didnтАЩt respond.
тАЬIt might be months or even years before someone listens to the recording,тАЭ I
said.
I waited for the voice of doom to break in and say, тАЬYou idiot, just who do
you think youтАЩve been talking to?тАЭ