"Connie Willis - Blued Moon" - читать интересную книгу автора (Willis Connie)

BLUED MOON
Connie Willis

One of the chanciest areas of scientific study is that which tries to delineate and predict the laws of
probability-for probability is subject to change without notice, it seems. (Actually it isn't- but it's always possible
strange things to happen that stretch those "laws" without breaking them.) Here we have a funny novelette tha
stretch your grin as much as it stretches the laws.

Connie Willis won two Nebula Awards in one night in 1983 for her short fiction, most of which is thoughtful
moving. So is this story, but it brings an added dimension of humor that's rare in science fiction.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Mowen Chemical today announced implementation of an
innovative waste emissions installation at its experimental facility in Chugwater, Wyo-min
According to project directors Bradley McAfee and Lynn Saunders, nonutilizable
hydrocarbonaceous substances will be propulsively transferred to stratospheric altitudinal
locations, where photochemical decomposition will result in triatomic allotropism and
formation of benign bicarbonaceous precipitates. Preliminary predictive databasing indicat
posi-tive ozonation yields without statistically significant shifts in lateral ecosystem equili

"Do you suppose Walter Hunt would have invented the safety pin if he had known that pu
rockers would stick them through their cheeks?" Mr. Mowen said. He was look-ing gloomi
out the window at the distant 600-foot-high smokestacks.

"I don't know, Mr. Mowen," Janice said. She sighed. "Do you want me to tell them to w
again?"

The sigh was supposed to mean, It's after four o'clock and it's getting dark, and you've
already asked Research to wait three times, and when are you going to make up your mind?
Mr. Mowen ignored it.

"On the other hand," he said. "What about diapers? And all those babies that would have
been stuck with straight pins if it hadn't been for the safety pin?"

"It is supposed to help restore the ozone layer, Mr. Mowen," Janice said. "And accordin
Research, there won't be any harmful side effects."

"You shoot a bunch of hydrocarbons into the stratosphere, and there won't be any harmfu
side effects. According to Research." Mr. Mowen swivelled his chair around to look at Jan
nearly knocking over the picture of his daughter Sally that sat on his desk. "I stuck Sally onc
With a safety pin. She screamed for an hour. How's that for a harmful side effect? And wha
about the stuff that's left over after all this ozone is formed? Bicarbonate of soda, Research
says. Per-fectly harmless. How do they know that? Have they ever dumped bicarbonate of
on people before? Call ResearchтАж"he started to say, but Janice had already picked up the
phone and tapped the number. She didn't even sigh. "Call Research and ask them to figure o
what effect a bicarbonate of soda rain would have."
 "Yes, Mr. Mowen," Janice said. She put the phone up to her ear and listened for a mome
"Mr. MowenтАж" she said hesitantly.

"I suppose Research says it'll neutralize the sulfuric acid that's killing the statues and
sweeten and deodorize at the same time."