"When the loving gets rough" - читать интересную книгу автора (Scope Perry)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"I'm not a whore, you know," the rather plain woman said softly.

Allen looked at her, surprise and embarrassment making him look even younger than he was. He instantly regretted coming to the crummy little neighborhood bar, but the house had been so empty, so lonely… He couldn't stand another night of it. Wanting Karen had become such an immobilizing pain that work was impossible. It was this pain which had prompted him to force himself to approach the woman who looked almost as lonely as he. He had thought his roundabout approach was casual and sophisticated, but the woman's cool words had pierced even this self-protection. He felt like a fool now, a very young, helpless fool.

"Look. I'm sorry," he started ineptly. "I didn't mean…"

The woman smiled warmly. The smile made her look younger, softer. He had judged her to be around thirty or so, but now she looked closer to his own age. It hadn't mattered before how old she was, or what she looked like. He needed a woman desperately, but somehow with her smile and sudden warmth, Allen was embarrassed about his directness.

"I know what you meant. Don't be embarrassed. I understand better than you think. Are you married?" The woman grinned at Allen. "My name is Cira. It's Spanish."

"You don't look Spanish." Allen felt a great sense of relief that the woman hadn't simply slugged him and vanished angrily. "My name's Allen."

"I'm not, but my mother was the fanciful type. So… I'm Cira! Hi, Allen."

"Hi." He grinned back at her. Then he remembered her question. "Yes… I'm married, sort of," he added slowly. "She left me." He wondered what this woman would think if he told her that his wife had left him for another woman. He was sure she wouldn't understand. Well, that would make two of them. He remembered Karen's note. It was garbled, yet the truth of her involvement with Pat came through loud and clear. Karen was too honest, and, he guess, too confused at the time, to try to hide anything.

"Someone else?" Cira inquired softly. She watched him nod. Poor kid, she thought. Poor miserable, lonely kid. There are so many of us! "Any children?"

"No. I guess that's good, now." Allen tried to be casual. He didn't feel he had the right to burden this woman with his heartache. She looked like she knew what it was only too well herself.

"Maybe." Cira thought of her own son, home asleep in her sister's house. At least she had him! She didn't know what she would have done this past year if it wasn't for the baby. She had done this to herself. She was too old to get herself caught like a teenager! But she had loved the bastard too much! She was sure if there was a baby he would marry her, and she'd wanted a child badly. Funny how most men don't mention a wife until it's too late. Not like this boy. She felt he was telling the truth about himself. His loneliness and pain stuck out all over him like an extra set of ribs. She felt pity mingled with her own loneliness. It had been such a long time. She could make him happy for a night. One night, only. Then she would take her son, as she planned, draw her few savings out of the bank, and move to another town. She would give herself and this lonely boy one night of forgetfulness. Cira couldn't help wondering how many other people used sex as a panacea. She hoped she would never want to again.

"Do you have somewhere we can go?" The woman smiled up at Allen.

Allen opened his eyes wide in surprise. "I thought…"

"I know. I said I wasn't a whore. That's true. I think I need you tonight, and you need me. Let's just enjoy each other and not ask a lot of questions. A deal?"

They smoked a cigarette together in bed afterwards. It had been a release for Allen, yet he was unhappy, knowing he hadn't really brought much pleasure to Cira. She hadn't said anything, yet he knew it was true. "I'm sorry, Cira. It wasn't too good for you, was it?"

Cira felt a tenderness grow in her for this boy. His very ineptness contributed to this feeling. He was very inexperienced – she wondered how much this had contributed to his wife's reasons for leaving him.

"You're very young," she whispered to him, her lips close to his ear. "Love has to be learned, just like everything else. Let me show you…"

Al watched Cira get up from the bed. Naked, the woman walked to the phone. He heard her conversation with her sister, yet he didn't hear it. He was so confused. How could he learn love? He had loved his wife, yet she had rejected him for the love of a woman.

"I've arranged things so that I can stay with you for the weekend, if you'd like…" Cira said, cutting into his painful thoughts.

"The weekend?" Al didn't understand.

Cira sat down on the bed again, drawing Al's head to her full breasts. "Yes, silly boy. Certainly you didn't think I could teach you about love in a few hours, did you? That is, I'll stay if you'd like me to…"

Al felt a great relief at her words. He was so tired of being alone. "I'd like that very much. But…" he tried to smile, "I'm afraid I'm kind of a drop out when it comes to lovemaking. Or, kind of a failure…"

Cira pressed a soft nipple against his lips. "Nonsense! You're a sweet, warm person. Only, for some reason, you are determined to fight that natural sweetness in bed." She felt the nipple grow hard in his mouth. She guided his mouth to the other one, speaking again when his tongue began its hungry caress. "Poor baby, it's so hard to be a man and still be tender, isn't it?"

"Tender?" he murmured, still not really listening, not really comprehending. All he felt now, with the hot globes of softness against his lips, was the familiar desperate need to sink himself inside her body, extinguish the burning in his loins. He was ready again, suddenly excited by Cira's willingness to give herself to him. How many times had he wanted Karen, and been rejected, or forced to all but rape his own wife? He couldn't wait, couldn't… Al grasped her legs, spreading them apart urgently. He lowered himself onto her compliant body, fitting his thighs between hers.

"Go slowly, darling, slowly. We have all the time in the world," Cira whispered, knowing that it was already too late, that his need for her – for any woman – was too strong. She instinctively knew that she had to help him now, had to let him get his fill of her, helping him alleviate the ache he felt before she could show him how to bring pleasure to the body of a woman as well as his own. She reached out for his stiff flesh, guiding him into her.

Feeling the wonderful moist flesh grasping at his penis from every side, Al began to moan and slam himself quickly into Cira. It was ecstasy… it was the most sublime relief of all… How could she not feel it… not be there with him…? It was over almost before it began, over for her, before it began.

Knowing guilt once more, Al timidly rolled over on his side of the bed, away from her. "I… I'm sorry…"

Cira sighed, the aching between her legs unquenched. Poor boy, she thought. He didn't know. He was so hungry. She stroked his lean back tenderly. "It's all right, darling…" She glided her hand over his flesh, tracing the line of his hip, easing her fingers over the curly hairs that coated his stomach. She grasped his small testicles carefully, massaging them delicately. "When a man is hungry, when he's starved, he stuffs his food without tasting at all. When he's had enough to eat all his life, he's able to taste, enjoy, savor…" She moved her hand until it was lightly fondling the now-soft penis. Her knowing touch began to rekindle life in his tired body.

Al turned to the woman in amazement, too startled by her new advances to speak. He let himself feel, instead… then, when he was pulsating with need again, Cira moved herself over him.

"Just lie still. Let me do it…" She quickly straddled his loins, lowering herself easily onto him. She groaned pleasurably as the length of him slid effortlessly into her. She swooped down and kissed him, slipping her tongue deeply into his mouth. She licked avidly at his tongue, all the while taking him further inside of her, rearing back letting him all but slip out of her body, only to embrace him again with her tight muscles. Skillfully she brought them both to the pinnacle of pleasure at the same moment, letting Al know the beauty of having his own sobs of ecstasy mingle with those of another.

The weekend passed in a sea of sensation and bliss. Bits and pieces of never before suspected sensuality floated to his awareness, so that the wonderful weekend formed a collage of flesh and happiness in his mind.

Afterwards, Al remembered most clearly the moment when Cira had kissed his ear, and whispered, "You must concentrate first on giving great pleasure to the one you are with. Your own pleasure should not be thought of for a long time. It will come, then, from the happiness you give to the other person. Let me show you." Cira began a leisurely attack with her lips on his body, making every inch of him come alive in a new way. He felt sensations he had never known before flow through him. He groaned with the subtlest, most tremendous pleasure he had ever felt. She was like a graceful bird, darting over his body and sweetening it with honey wherever she touched. By the time she pulled away from him, Allen was shaking with happiness and gratitude.

"Now do the same things to me. Relax and let yourself come to me completely. Don't be afraid." Cira eased her back against the mattress. Her body appeared younger and fresher than her experience-hardened face. She saw his hesitancy and understood it. "It's okay, baby. It's right. You must earn your pleasure. It's best that way." She pulled the man in her arms with a maternal gentleness. Her kiss was very, very sweet.

Allen moaned in her arms. He was ready again, but he fought against the immediate desire to bury himself in her. She was so warm and understanding. She had-given him so much… He began to kiss her awkwardly, trailing his lips over her smooth shoulders and over her firm breasts. Her hand on his head was tactfully urging, suggesting rather than commanding his mouth to explore further. He kissed the bare midriff, the slim waist, the wider hips. Her belly was so tender, so warm that he gladly took little mouthfuls of the flesh between his teeth and bit down carefully. He kissed the backs of her arched knees with a loving gratitude, and managed to draw his lips slowly down her legs until they caressed her sharp ankles. Somewhere inside of him, still buried under layers of pleasure and surcease from pain, a voice tried to remind him that this wasn't right – that a man, a real man didn't do things like this… He wanted to deny this kind woman nothing, nothing at all. Yet Allen felt himself stopped, locked in hesitancy by a terrible, binding fright. He knew this had to be wrong! He couldn't do this thing she asked of him. Not even now when he was able to admit he wanted it almost as much as she.

"Allen, darling, let yourself go." Cira's sweet voice was coaxing. "Whatever is done between two people for their own pleasure is right, so very right. Make me happy. Make us happy…"

A verbal expression of masculinity meant nothing! Not if it meant sacrificing everything in order to convince himself that he was manly in all ways, at all times. Just then he heard Cira's voice. It cut his thoughts and made him begin to dissolve his prejudiced guides on exactly what constitutes masculinity. He found his eager mouth moving closer to the junction of her legs, his brain suddenly intoxicated by an aroma that burned deliciously in his nostrils. His stiff penis throbbed faster as he closed in on the source of this unusual fragrance.

Still filled with doubts and fears, Allen pressed his tightly closed lips to the coral-colored, puckered lips of her vagina. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs – and his brain – with that tantalizing fragrance. Suddenly, his dry lips were coated with moisture. He pulled away with alarm, automatically cleaning his lips with his tongue… then finding the taste was not what he expected! Rather than being repulsed, he was aroused. The tempo of his throbbing male-muscle increased, demanding more of this sweet tasting nectar… and Allen dove back to the source, his mouth opened wide and his tongue forcing its way into the well of her.

A smile of happiness and joy crossed Cira's face as she felt his sudden acceptance of her. She repeated what she had just said more slowly. "A man… is tenderness… gentleness… strength…"

Later, when Allen was over her body again, his lips crushing hers with the most adult-like passion he had ever known, he knew that he was more than repaying Cira for her lessons. He was, despite his still thin and boyish body, being reborn, this time as a man… a real man.

With tenderness… gentleness… strength…