"Granvort, The Discount Wizard" - читать интересную книгу автора (Mendel R E)

The Attorney General, rubbing his chin in an attempt to affect an intellectual air, interjected, УDid His Majesty say anything about a competent wizard?Ф

УPardon me?Ф the Prime Minister inquired with some suspicion, though also admittedly some curiosity.

УIt would seem to me,Ф the Attorney General continued in a tone of voice that suggested he was speaking off the top of his head and should not be held accountable if the idea was completely asinine, Уthat the King is more interested in the position of a wizard rather than the wizard itself. An incompetent wizard would fill the job, not cost very much and would not undermine any of our positions in the Royal Court.Ф

While some feigned indignation at this cynical ploy, all quietly concurred that the Attorney General was on to something. The Prime Minister, while wishing to avoid the appearance of complicity, nonetheless instructed the Labour Minister to do a feasibility study.

* * * *

The Prime Minister received the confidential report of the Labour Department a few days later. The wizard market was very tight with very few qualified wizards to meet the demand. A job posting, the Department suggestedЧbut by no means advocatedЧwhich included a very poor pay package with little or no benefits would not attract the interest of any wizards of note.

While no one was prepared to endorse the plan publicly and certainly not to the King, an advertisement was quietly prepared. According to procedure, a copy of the posting was placed inside a hollowed-out stump which was then set alight. Interested applicants were invited to send their resumes by incantation to the Personnel Department of the Royal Court.

Weeks passed withЧto no oneТs surpriseЧnot a single response. The King became increasingly impatient, demanding to know the status of the wizard search. His aides assured him that this was a process that could not be rushed as wizards did not like to be pressured.

Then one sunny autumn day the Prime Minister received, to his astonishment, a most unusual message from the head of the personnel department of the Royal Court. It appeared that, despite everyoneТs expectationsЧand intentionsЧan application had arrived in response to the advertisement. Rushing back to his office, the Prime Minister was presented with a battered and charred envelope by the head of the Personnel Department.

The Prime Minister took the envelope apprehensively. УWhat happened to this envelope?Ф

УActually, sir, it arrived in this condition,Ф began the head of the Personnel Department, still baffled by the recent chain of events. УI was at my desk last night catching up on some paper work when there was an explosion over my IN basket. This appeared in flames and almost set my whole desk on fire. My ears are still ringing.Ф

The Prime Minister feigned concern and cautiously opened the envelope. Inside were the charred remains of a resume that appeared to be written on the back of a cocktail napkin. All that remained legible was the letterhead: GRANVORT THE WIZARD: FOR ALL YOUR CONJURING NEEDS.

The Prime Minister, while not convinced that the wizard crisis had abated, at least could demonstrate to the King that the file was moving. He went immediately to the Throne Room where the King was holding court. Rather than entering through the Grand Hall that led to the Grand Doorway that led into the Grand Anteroom that eventually led to the Even Grander Doorway that led to the Throne RoomЧwhich in itself was quite grandЧthe Prime Minister used the private entrance reserved only for the KingТs most senior advisors.

Pulling the King from a no doubt vital conversation with the Court Jester, the Prime Minister informed him that there was an interesting development in the wizard file.

УWell, it is about time,Ф sniffed the King loudly. УSo what news do you have for me?Ф

УWe have received our first application, Highness,Ф the Prime Minister announced while both staring down the jester, who was not happy at the interruption of his meeting, and handing the King the charred envelope.

УGranvort the Wizard...Ф The King began reading the remains of the resume out loud, but before he could finish, a loud explosion rocked the Throne Room, knocking everyone off their feet and filling the room with smoke.

As the smoke cleared the royal guards rushed into the room, looking for the cause of the blast. In the quiet aftermath a small voice could be heard coming from the ceiling. УUmm, a little help please.Ф

All looked up in astonishment to see clinging precariously from the chandelier a thin elderly man with a long white beard, flowing robes and a pointy hat. The captain of the guard used a spear to knock the old man to the ground as six of his men pounced.

УWait, wait,Ф cried out the old man desperately clutching his pointy hat, УI am the Wizard Granvort. IТve come about the ad.Ф

The King called off the guards and, brushing the soot from his royal robes and straightening his crown, approached the old wizard suspiciously. УSo you wish the title of Wizard of the Royal Court of Thysland. Prove yourself.Ф

УOh, IТd be delighted,Ф exclaimed the wizard, rolling up his sleeves and eagerly pulling a rabbit out of his pointy hat.

The King was outraged. УI did not bring a wizard into this court for tricks not even worthy of a childrenТs party.Ф

Granvort was nonplused. УI can certainly understand that. Here, pick a card...Ф

Sensing that the King was about to get violent, the Prime Minister intervened. УWhat his Royal Highness means is that a Royal Wizard is expected to do more than simple parlour tricks...Ф